Whether your friend group is dwindling or you’re just starting out, it can feel like a challenge to get close with new people. It’s easy to let friendships slide when you’re busy, but reviving a whittled-down circle or becoming overextended trying to make up for lost time with friends on the fringes can leave you feeling anxious and stressed.
Thankfully, it’s possible to make new friends if you take the time to connect and cultivate relationships. The key is to find people who have common interests, who you enjoy spending time with and who aren’t already part of your friendship circles. If you’re worried your friend has fallen out of love with you, it’s also important to assess the situation carefully and consider what caused the shift.
Signs that your friendship has turned into love include talking more openly about intimate details of your lives, bringing up past incidents that have affected both of you, and using pet names for one another (like “babe” or “sweetie”) instead of the completely goofy ones you might use for other friends. Another surefire sign is when you both tease each other about being a couple (directly or in their absence).
If your friend has started spending more time with other friends, moved away, or has a new job that takes up more of their free time, it’s natural for a friendship to drift apart — but it can be hard to handle the change. It may be especially difficult if you’re consumed by fear that they hate you.
ReachOut Online talked to a group of young people who have been through this before and came up with some ideas for how you can get closer to your friend again. We asked them to give their tips for how to meet and maintain new friends, and also share some of the signs that they’ve experienced in their own friendships.
Step 1: Be friendly and approachable
The best way to start a conversation is by saying “hello” and asking about other people’s day. This shows you care about them and their well-being. It can also help you discover shared interests, and you might even learn something interesting about them!
Step 2: Be generous and kind
Be a good listener and offer sincere compliments. It’s also important to be helpful and dependable, especially when other people are going through tough times. This will show that you’re someone who is there for others, and it could be just what they need to keep the spark alive in their own relationship!
Step 3: Make new friends based on common interests
Find people who are interested in the same things you are by joining a club, volunteering, or attending a community event. Then, spend time with them! For example, if you love reading books, join a book club. Similarly, if you love being outdoors, spend time hiking or kayaking with them. You can even plan a camping trip together to bond over your mutual interest in nature!